Byebye everything in my laptop.
Sent it to the computer hospital,
Must wait for the guy to call me and tell me if he manages to save my data.
My pictures are gone, for sure.

but you know even then,
the first thing i went to save,
weren't even my pictures,
or my music, or not even my documents.
It was your songs.
I feel bad that your game will be lost.
Please tell me that I've completely lost it.
"Sarah, you've lost it."

I was trying to save as much data as i can today,
halfway the laptop just shut down.
I've been trying to save data ever since yesterday,
but the laptop can't even be switched on properly for more thatn 2 mins.
And this time,
it couldn't even go back to the startup menu.
Bummer.

i've to pay the price
i've to pay the price
in the end,
i've to pay the price.

----

With attachment going on,
I've not much of a life.
Even at home, I am in my own circle.
I only bother to contact some people,
and that's only when I feel like it.
I find talking to people now a big bother.
Except for that few, very very few.
You can count that amount with the fingers on one hand.

Also, I realised that I don't make sense when I talk.
For someone who used to have a lot of things to say
and a lot of things up her head,
she now has nothing.
AND I MEAN, nothing.

My social life and my social skills are gone.
I should be a stone.

-----

I am a person who wants to make a impact in people's life.
That is why I want to be a psychologist.
I want to advice and bring people to the right track.
I want to be a psychologist for many reasons.

1. I like to be the change of someone's life.
Like, if people ask you who is the reason for you being here.
Besides yourself, you'd probably be able to think of one or 2 people,
I like to be that one or 2 people in someone's life.
I'd feel like I've accomplished something in life.

2. I like to talk.
Talk, talk, talk.
Talk with wisdom.
Talk like I know.
Talk with experience.
I think I can advice, and with proper training,
I think i'll be able to understand people better and tell them the right things.

3. Love my job
I won't even feel like it's a job.
I mean, it will be a challenge.
And I would love that challenge.
:)

4. I'm abit of a kpo.
I like to know of people's problems.
And I'll feel better because, they actually come to me for professional help.

5. I wanna help people.
I just feel like if can do something about it, i should.
Doesn't take much of me to just give advice.
They're words.
They can mean just words to someone,
but can mean everything to someone else.
I've gotten the feeling like my words have changed someone before
and that my words were taken seriously.
My advice was appreciated and my advice worked.
The outcome was so much more than I could've imagined.
The people were grateful and sooo happy.
I know the feeling of making someone happy and I liked that feeling.
I felt accomplished and happy and the other person was happy as well.
Like there's no greater feeling.
If i can do something that is within my reach, i will.
I wanna make a difference in someone's life.
& I wanna keep doing that.

I wanna touch people's life or heart with something that I can do.
Anything.

But I gotta do that with those closest to me first.
And I find that the hugest battle.
Because I don't seem to be making an impact in people's life.
Maybe I've to try harder.

Or maybe, after all that i've said
I'm not meant to make a difference in people's life.

I'm not meant for anything.