Why must that sms come now.
Yeah, I needed it.
But I was strong.

And just like that, I'm weak again.
God wants me to let it all go and not hold it all in.
I don't know why.
He just wants me to let it all go.
But I'm still holding back.
I need to hold back, I need to be stronger than this.

I've been too vulnerable for the last few months,
and this time its a real struggle but I gotta hold on.
I gotta keep it together.
I can't fall apart now, I can't let go now.
I'll be a mess.

He keeps telling me to depend on Him, to depend on Him.
Somehow, I just can't. Not completely.
I can't depend on anyone. I can't.

I love you God.
Let me do this on my own.
I thought that's what you wanted.
Testing me, my strength.
Haven't I been fine? Why break me now. Why now.

God works in mysterious ways.
and He always delivers.
Sarah, let go.

"God will make a way,
where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me."

This song suddenly came to my mind,
sorry for being so holy moly.
But that was what the sms was about,
and after a long time it made me tear.
I felt comforted and consoled.
I felt peace.
I felt like everything was going to be taken care of.
I felt everything I was looking for, at this stressful period of time.
I felt it.
So I teared.