That was evidence that I haven't been a friend.
It was evidence that I made the same mistake again.
It was evidence that, Sarah, you proved that..
yes,
you
are
damn
fucking
stupid.
Trust all the wrong people.
Haven't I learnt from years ago to becareful of people like this.
Making the same mistake twice, it hurts.
I don't know which part of me is hurting,
but there's some part of me that is hurting.
This hurt won't last, I know it'll be gone the second this post is done and published. What sucks and what makes this stupid situation worse is that, my worries for the past few days are actually real and true.
I am stupid
and
I have not been a good enough friend.
I feel like I don't want to be bothered with anybody.
It's this passing phase, that I just want to be how I want to be.
I want to scream at you, if I feel like it.
I want to be respected and treated properly.
I want to stop being nice, for a day.
But you know, a lot of things will change when I really just be damn moody the whole day. What if no one can accept me when I don't feel like pleasing you, when I don't feel like being diplomatic, when I don't feel like being nice, when I'm not retarded.
It's tiring sometimes to be so nice to people.
You see what I get.
I'm not appreciated.
I get direspected, bullied - playful or not.
Playful bully also I can tahan, got limit you know.
Too nice and people just take advantage of that.
Yeah, I will be fine. The thing is, people know I'll be okay after awhile.
I won't say anything, doesn't mean you can test me to my limits right.
Doesn't mean you can still hurt me anyway.
Wtf. Screwed in your brain sometimes.
Some people just won't take me seriously, yknw.
Sick and tired lah.
I don't feel like smiling at anybody.
Must I always behave in a way that would be politically right.
Am I not allowed to show how I really feel.
Will you still want to be around me?
Sighs.
------
Out with Abi & Jac today.
I missed you 2, together. :D
We had a superb lunch at Pizza Hut,
had so much fun together, as usual.
Did Manis and Pedis.
Must meet soon. NEXT WEEK!
Love you 2!
<3